You thought you were prepared for the first day of kindergarten. Your kid’s lunch was packed, your alarm was set, and the Google Maps route was saved on your phone. But then, the dreaded morning comes… and chaos ensues.
Your kid won’t get out of bed, they want to wear their pajamas, their breakfast you meticulously prepared for them is cold, you forget to pack them extra snacks, you’re rushing your kid while simultaneously telling them (and yourself) to “Calm DOWN!”, you take a wrong turn on the way to school, suddenly you’re late, your kid refuses to wear their backpack, and–the absolute worst part–you have say a tearful goodbye to them and send them off into scary Kindergarten-land. You stand there, heartbroken, without the faintest clue of what is going to happen to them on their first real day of school.
Okay, okay–enough of the terrifying, nightmarish scenario. My fingers are crossed that this doesn’t actually happen to you and your kid on the first day of school. But sending your child off to kindergarten is inevitably going to be tough, because transitions are hard. They are hard for adults (especially if it is your first time), and even harder for children. Ineffective transitions to kindergarten, specifically, can result in higher stress for both children and their families, and even have long term consequences for the child while they are in school (Transition to Kindergarten: Findings from Recent Research).
Jessica Hofschulte, a mother of three, sent her two twin boys to Kindergarten for the first time this August. She admits that kindergarten felt scary for them because it was such a big unknown. Even though she felt as though she did everything she could (like packing lunches the night before and getting the boys into their nighttime routine the week prior) the transition still hit them harder than she had expected.
Hofschulte shares that the first day “was really tough on all of us. For me, but also for my kids. I have really sensitive kids who have big feelings. The fear of something new and not being with the same friends that they had known since they were three years old was really tricky for us to navigate.”
The experience was especially challenging because her two boys responded differently to the experience. One of them enjoyed his first week, and the other has been emotional each day that he returns from school.
Hofschulte wishes there was a handbook for strategies on how parents and kids can cope with the first day (enter: Life with Kids Hub!). Fortunately, we have some ideas for parents on how they can make the transition to kindergarten a little bit smoother!
Establish a Routine for the First Day of School
The start of school will sneak up on you: before you know it, it will be there! Having a routine that is already set in place before the first day will help your child feel more settled when that big morning comes. A change in routine can bring about a lot of feelings for kids and make them feel unsettled. To smooth out the transition, start establishing their routine with them two weeks before the start of school.
You can start by getting them into their bedtime and wake up routines that they will have during school. Summer most likely has caused their bedtime to be pushed back and (if you're lucky) their wakeup time to be pushed back as well. Guiding them back to their school bedtimes and wake ups will make that first morning so much easier. You can even have them practice eating the breakfast they will be eating, having them help you pack their backpack and lunch, and then practice getting out the door on time. It may sound silly, but doing a “drill” will help your child feel prepared and less scrambled during the actual big day.
Set Your Kid Up for Success
There are many small actions you can take to help prepare your child for their first day in the wide world of kindergarten. Lay their clothes out with them and prep their lunch the night before so that everything is in place for the morning of. Make sure you pack enough snacks! Kindergarten is full of snack time and the last thing you want is for your child to run out of food while others get to chow down.
Talking your child through the items in their backpack and lunch box will help them understand the tools that they have with them. Let them ask questions and explain the different items that they may be using throughout the day to guide them visually through their future experience.
Let Your Kids Feel ALL the Feels
Children can have really big emotions when they are in their first days, or even weeks, of school. This is totally normal. According to Dr. Becky Kennedy, mother of three and author of the bestselling parenting book Good Inside, validating our kids’ emotions is one of the most important actions we can take to support them. She states, “A child’s job in a family system is to explore and learn, through experiencing and expressing their emotions and wants.”
So, let your child explore kindergarten and then come home to express their emotions! When they return from school, debrief the day with them. You can try asking specific questions, like: “Who did you meet today that you liked?” What was your favorite activity that you did?” “Was there anything that surprised you about kindergarten?” “Was there anything that upset you today?” “How did you feel?”
No matter what they say, validate their experience. Let them know that you believe them, and that it is great that they are feeling all of these feelings and expressing them to you now!
Be Gentle on Yourself and Your Kids
The first day of school is exciting: this is a new chapter for you and your family! It can also be a challenge for you and your family to overcome together. Remember to take things slow-you are getting into a new routine as well. Go easy on yourself and go easy on your kids. Children are so malleable and adaptable–remember that they will adjust and eventually thrive (and you will too!). You’ve got this!
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